im about as happy as oj after his trial
My nipple rings set off the metal detector at the courthouse this morning.
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!