ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
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Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
My roommate comes home screaming, I brought you home a friend! I thought she brought me a guy...no, she brought home a one-eyed shih tzu.
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He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...