just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
Update: just imagined being dirty talked to in an Irish brogue and I think my vagina became a sentient being.
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
I just want you to know that watching you throw up out of a cab in the McDonald's drive thru was probably the highlight of my night.
When you wanted to give that guy at McDonalds your number you asked the cashier if you could borrow "a pen or just like a straw with his blood on it". He gave you a pen.
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