I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
I just ate a cockroach and I want to be a fire truck.
Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
These 19 Underage Drinkers Epicly Got By With A Horrible Fake ID
my mom just emptied my water bottle filled with vodka into the turtle tank.
Your drunken mistake is coming over to see if she wants to buy any of our furniture. I know youre desperate, but try not to fuck her, without a condom, for a fourth time, while shes there.
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
shattered his nose in 8 pieces. Blaming it on the dog. I feel more guilty about ruining the dog's good name than I do about ruining his nose.
These Are The 21 Strangest Sexual Fantasy Confessions
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
Sorry for all the texts. I got wasted and woke up at the foot of a staircase. From what I can gather, I fell down it.
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.