it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
I'm going to write a horror movie. It's going to be called "Fat People on a Squeaky Bed" and it's going to feature me laying in bed last night listening to my overweight roommate and her fat boyfriend tossing and turning all night
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.