i can't put facebook on my resume under hobbies.
He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
nothing screams I HAVE A PROBLEM! like the case of miller lite sitting on top of my DUI papers in the passenger seat of my car. lol
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
party gras won. party gras always wins.
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
Oh man. I threw up in the first cab. Got kicked out. Roamed somewhere for awhile. Fell asleep in the back if the second cab. Woke up in my underwear on the living room floor with a frozen pizza (thawed) laying next to me
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
Randomize
