I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
My dermatologist just asked me, "what happened here?" referring to the bruising on my nipples. I told her I walked into a door. Thanks for that awkward moment.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
Sweating vodka and spray tan, I feel like a trophy wife.
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
I was about to share my drunken story from the weekend, but two friends getting married and one finding out she's pregnant makes Saturday in jail look a little suspect.
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
Randomize