I just saw a woman parallel park a horse. Awesome. Only in New York..
I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
So I purposely left a bunch of metal in my pockets so that the smokin hot TSA officer would give me a pat down. Airport security just got fun
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
Turns out the guy I peed on gave me a ride back to my dorm this morning.
You are a god.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
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