"it" just moved
Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
I just speedwalked down the broken metro escalator while high. Basically all my worst fears combined
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
I'm currently watching porn and playing beer pong with wine in the lobby of a hotel with a squadron of hot airforce guys. You can never say your life is better than mine again
Found your bra in my backseat. And yes it took me that long to finally clean it out from last weekend
Didn't even know it was missing, if that makes you feel any better
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