And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
Woke up and went out for a cigarette and it was dead quiet. It was like the world just knew how many mistakes were made last night.
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
Today marks the 365th consecutive day of jerkin it. I couldn't have done it without you guys. #onlynewyearsresolutionaccomplished
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
Randomize
