Just mADE A PArabola og urine
Since when is my name a synonym for head?
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
Princesses don't give blow jobs
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
Some old bald man is a 100,000 dollar Audi sports car just revved his engine at me and held out his phone at me trying to get my number. I hate the valley.
Why do all my exes just become Tom Hanks in Castaway?
That's a fantastic question. And an odd set of criteria to meet if wanting to date you.
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
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