He is such a slut. More and more my type.
If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
When black out puking doesn't involve crying and promises to never get drunk again... to just a subtle, 'excuse me while I go vomit in the bathroom of this bar'.. you know you've finally grown up.
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
Just got back from fathers day breakfast. So hungover i couldn't eat so i just slipped my food in my pockets and threw it out while i puked in the bathroom.
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
You wouldn't eat with utensils. You insisted on making your own spoon out of a bendy straw and staples while singing "I'm a survivor" by Destiny's Child.
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
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