Princesses don't give blow jobs
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
I need to be more functional. That doesn't mean I'm going to drink less, I just need to wake up and shit
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
Randomize
