FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
if i see another status about New Moon, i'm gonna punch a baby
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
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