I feel like this woman may give her husband a hand job mid way through dinner. just saying.
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
My cat puked at the same time as me. Makes me feel better about myself, except he can stand and I can't.
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
She was wearing American flag underwear. How could I NOT fuck her?
You're a true patriot.
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
why does every cop we meet know your name?
Went online to check my credit card... $147.87 at Waffle House. $632.36 at "Red Rose Gentleman's Club" and a $1000 cash advance from an ATM. I may no longer be a fiancé.
Randomize
