Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
my taxi driver is listening to 50 shades of grey audiobook. this is uncomfortable.
I hate it when the guy who runs the chicken and waffles truck is convinced that I run a cult.
that is the opposite of a normal text message.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
The police report said "I asked the suspect if he had any identification. He replied yes and gave me a Pizza Hut gift card"
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
Randomize