SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
She was wasted. Kept yelling "what if I'm pregnant" and trying to push me into the tree. First and last time I bring a girl to my family christmas party.
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
Her text was so long it had an arrow to expand it. You know it's bad when even your iPhone can't handle her
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
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