Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
I threw a hotdog at the security guard and called the bartender "goodlooking for a 35 year old who was rode hard and put away wet"... I would have kicked me out too
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
Google Maps needs to have a hungover setting. That bitch talks too loud and all I want is breakfast tacos & a bloody fucking mary.
I just puked on the sidewalk. At 11am. Thought you'd like to know.
Just found out I lit my hair on fire last night.
She called me at 2am crying because her late night booty call moved out of state
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