I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
Nah the bridesmaids all had dates. I slept with the next best thing: girl who WANTED to be a bridesmaid but didnt make the cut.
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
Randomize
