can't come. weird drunk guy passed out on couch. long story, tell u later.
wtf. wake him up, call him a cab, get over here!
i just want to make sure he doesn't die. or rob me. plus it's facinating, he's faceplant on the arm of my sofa.
There is a man on the balcony beside me who claims he is a triceratops. He roared and asked me for a cigarette, telling me he'd eat me if I refused. I love college.
I opened up her dishwasher and all I found was a spoon, a juice glass and all her sex toys.
Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
I just bought 1/2 a fifth of vodka out of an old school baby carriage from a homeless man. Gotta love this city.
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
I woke up and found a doughnut on our front porch. It's not sketchy though. More like a gift from the gods.
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
Randomize
