Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
Just saw a woman walking a golden retriever and a vacuum down the road. I miss downtown.
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
You think the guy at the speed wash knows he needs to scrub the vomit off the side of my car?
He knew.
I feel really sorry for my toilet right now
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