is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
Just stole a pregnancy test from Wegmans because I didn't want to pay 13 dollars to find out my life is over.
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
Who am I sleeping next to in your bed? Where are you? Also when are you coming home... I need coffee.
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
I saw some guy masturbating in the Burger King parking lot and I’m just fucking done
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