Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
I really hope you get sexually violated by a pterodactyl tonight.
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
so explain to me why i woke up in jail this morning
because you opened a jar or pickles and a bag of fritos and layed down in the middle of aisle 7 while singing 'la cucaracha'
no more ever clear
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
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