Just remembered I told my boss that matt used to make me toss his salad like every time we hooked up. Nice
my brother is so whacked out on percocet from hurting his legs that he started crying because his belly button was so cute
i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
I am stoned and watching Pocahontas. I am letting the kids eat whatever they want. I am the best babysitter in the whole wide world
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
I'm bringing cupcakes to work today as an apology for my actions at the bar last night, my boss probably can't look at me the same ever again
Went home last night with a guy in a tutu, didn't know he was wearing a tutu until he threw it at me in the bedroom. God I love Halloween.
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Randomize
