people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
I couldn't break up with him while I was wearing a Hakuna Matata shirt.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I spilled a whole plate of queso and salsa on my bed so I'm just eating it off my sheets with chips. How's your night going?
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
I think you're overestimating how drunk I was
You said your pillow felt like the ocean...
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
Oh my fucking god!! There is a barefoot white guy with a fucking ninja sword in the middle of the street next to the pride gas station swinging his sword at peoples cars!! He almost got me. 3 people swerved off the road and stopped. I told a cop.
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
Randomize