she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
My ninety day supply of adderal just came in the mail and I literally just dumped all 180 pills into my hands and laughed like a maniac. Shits about to get cray
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
Randomize
