We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
My mom just said we needed to put weed into our earthquake kit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
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