I need to stop coming to work sober
I just threw up during my phone interview for the largest PR firm in the world.
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
Randomize