On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
Most awkward thing ever just happened. I was reaching in my purse to get something and a condom fell out into the woman's lap next to me. At least she knows I'm safe.
is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
In the morning he said my plan to make 2 casseroles today was, "hot in a grandma sort of way," & I didn't think it was weird. THAT'S how hot he was.
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
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