I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
My nipple rings set off the metal detector at the courthouse this morning.
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
Sober me admires drunk me's enthusiasm, but there is no way I'm going to make it out there today.
Lol drunk you is so full ideas and happy. Sober you is full of grumpy reality.
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
Anyone would get lost in that field after that much vodka. Trust me... I kind of feel like superman considering I even made it home. Most people would've been face down in a random oilfield. Not this guy.
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
Randomize
