Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
you started petting my head and said "there there, majestical unicorn. it won't be long before we get you back to neverland."
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
I'm gonna go parent style on your ass... I don't ask much from you but if you could please just come get shitfaced with me I would really appreciate it
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
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