Got home from the bar at 4am. 100% sober, unlaid. Epic fail or responsible behavior?
Responsible fail?
She offered to make me a fruit roll up salad for breakfast...I'm not sure if that's the coolest or weirdest thing ever...
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
I was dressed as Waldo and the cops kept saying looks like we fuckin found you
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
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