i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
Meanwhile she's getting her law degree and I'm dropping Cool Ranch Doritos down my bra because I'm laying down eating on the couch
I just woke up to a ten minute voicemail of you sobbing about the X-Men. Stop getting drunk and watching Marvel movies.
BUT WOLVERINE IS SO TORMENTED AND JUST WANTS TO BE LOVED
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
I wish I had a Tina from Bob's Burgers in real life. She would be the best wingman.
Randomize