I just used an app to identify a song that was playing in the background of a porno. May god bless your soul steve jobs.
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
Fell in the ditch running from the pizza guy I stole the pizza from. If you are still at my house come find me, pretty sure I need stitches.
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
My idiot ex texted me on Valentine's day to tell me I was right, he did need a therapist.
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
Randomize