apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
In your defense, I really thought capturing that alligator would have been a lot more awesome and a lot less tragic.
RIP Mr Bojangles.
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
Found your glasses drenched in ketchup on my driveway this morning
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
You're about to makeout with my vagina, I don't think she cares that you haven't brushed your teeth. Just get over here!
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
Reminder to self: never have sex on a trampoline. Trampoline burn hurts worse than carpet burn.
Randomize
