Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
no. you can't hotbox the world.
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
I woke up with a dick pic from the ex-Mormon via email. Not really what I wanted to see before my first cup of coffee this morning, but I gotta say, I'm impressed.
Was expecting a sext from Kristi and then my mom randomly sent me a pic of her ugly Xmas sweater. Worst. Buzzkill. Ever.
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
please don't ironically join a cult
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