Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
I think misery doesn't even think of me as company anymore. I'm an unofficial roommate.
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
I AM SENDING THIS TEXT MESSAGE SO I DON'T LOOK AT HIM. THANK YOU FOR RECEIVING IT.
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
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