If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
me texting you is like we have secret walkie talkies.
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
I wish I had a waterproof laptop so that I would watch porn in the shower.
I just looked at my iPhone gps history... "the gas station", "the park with a big scary fence", "the trampoline", and, my favorite, "where we were when we were about to do lines off a bible".
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
I just melted my phone trying to make cookies. I think that's a sign.
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
Napping in front of family members can be embarrassing when you get a christmas boner in your sleep
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
Randomize
