My sheets look like a crime scene.
what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
Dear male population: sorry for being such a dick tease but thanks for paying for my bar tab and drunk food
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
She asked me to come on her OkCupid date with her
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
Randomize
