If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
I got arrested FOR running from the cops. In college Dad got arrested and THEN ran from the cops. So it could be worse.
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
Aw. You're having cute FaceTime with your fiance, I'm trying to convince myself not to booty call a 42 year old. #adulting
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
Randomize