Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
Sorry I didn't text you for coffee this morning...bad life decision Saturday sorta rolled into Monday...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
Attn every girl I've slept with in the past 26 years of my life. One of you cunts gave me herpes. This is the 4th of 5 group MMS. That's right. It's in the 50s. There are two girls I don't have #s for. One was on a cruise and the other was a prostitute in Amsterdam. So which of you has herpes?
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
Randomize