There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
We named our party play list daddy issues
I'm not sober enough to be having a conversation about a rap she wrote in Spanish about public safety
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
I woke up and found piles of popcorn in a trail around my house, ending at a laundry basket full of pillows. What were we trying to catch last night?
Well my grandma put the turkey in the oven for 4 hours and didn't have the oven on.
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
Randomize
