im about as happy as oj after his trial
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
My mom said she saw you at the bar last night and asked how you were. She said, you replied with, "Oh you know, just knocked up."
Figured I'd get right to the point
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
A homeless man just offered me vodka. The power it took to deny it deserves an award.
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
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