I'm really into asian looking animals
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
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