Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
You're earring is so big in my mouth
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
Randomize
