A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
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