I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the bride spent most of the night apologizing to people she had punched earlier.
Dental hygienist just pulled two flakes of glitter out. And asked me how i've been doing with the divorce.
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
Hey do you care to explain why there are 3 empty pickle jars next to me when I woke up or do I even wanna know?
I got drunk and bought a house last night. Also, I threw up on Mike's lawn. I'm pretty excited about one of those two things.
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
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