Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
Thanks for the drunken voicemail of bird calls. Love and miss you, too.
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
Apparently I whispered "Jesus was here" and bailed out of the moving taxi.
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
Randomize