she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
According to my dad, my tongue ring makes people assume I give a lot of blow jobs because, as stated by him "that's what it's for"
Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
Bath mats should not be used at mops. they don't work. consider this a drunk psa
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
Block me from your phone tonight…I need to get laid tonight. But you've been being a douchebag. So not by you. But I might call you. So block me.
WHY WOULD I COCK BLOCK MYSELF???
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