best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
I want a shirt that says, "I'm sorry for the things I said when it was Taco Tuesday"
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
Randomize
