But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
They found an open window, climbed through and proceeded to arrest half the party. These campus cops are like fucking ninjas.
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
Hey just wanted to let you know my nose is broken and I have a fractured wrist. I told you it wasn't a slip and slide.
Dude I didn't think you'd do it. I mean come on, who puts a slip and slide on their driveway?
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
If dispatch calls for us tell them I'm having a significant emotional event in the restroom
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize
