the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
Fuck men. I'm going to go eat a package of cookie dough and get fat. I hope I die of salmonella.
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
Last time Jon threw a party I woke up on my porch, no shirt but 4 bras on, and "make better life choices" written on my stomach in sharpie
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
I just watched two birds fight or fuck. It was crazy. Another bird was watching closer and I know that bird understood what was happening better than me.
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
Randomize
