porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
She was so drunk that I kept trying to switch out her wine for water. Sort of like Jesus, but in reverse.
Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
She had one of those kid princess beds. I asked how she expected to fuck on that and she just said "thats what the slide is for". I've never wanted to marry a one night stand before.
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
Hey, I was just wondering why i dont have a shirt on, why im cuddling with a furnace, why im in my own basement, and where my car is.
Randomize
