Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
It's 3 am and my parents just came up the driveway in a limo. They didn't leave in a limo. I'm scared to even ask.
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
I just want to trick people into going on dates with me so they can bring back to their houses and let me use their wifi.
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
Randomize
