talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
I walked into the kitchen and twelve of them were just staring at the oven. Freshmen are the weirdest drunks ever.
You were so drunk, you called my cruise control, the "auto pilot" and asked my car politely to take us to Taco Bell.
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
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