dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
Its 6am and I'm sitting on the couch watching Clifford. Crying into my risotto because emily elizabeth helped the girl in the wheelchair get over her stagefright so she can win a trophy. Never drinking alone again.
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
My uterus just tried to get me to buy a tub of cookie dough
I’m getting back at my ex and training my new boy toy how to properly satisfy a woman. I’m killing two birds with one dick.
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