No, drunk sperm still make babies.
The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
What kind of present accurately says to my male suitemate "I'm sorry that I accidentally flashed you my vagina while I was super drunk"?
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
The coke machine at work is laughing at me. Literally. I just heard laughter from the coke machine
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
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