Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
You force fed me chocolate chips and avocados for 3 hours and kept asking me about my trip to sweden when I was 4.
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
This is not a drill. I need a cape. And a tuxedo. Simultaneously. Repeat. NOT. A. DRILL....
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
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