the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
So they're giving me a CT scan because I probably have a hernia. From getting a BJ from you. Really. This may be a pivotal moment in my decision to write a book about my life
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
A girl pulled up next to me at a stoplight just now, looked around for a second, and then changed her top, bra and all, before the light turned green. New. Hero.
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
His cat must have been laying on his dick, because now my face is covered in hives
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
Hey so I got my period
Thank god I wasn't ready to deal with sober you for 9 months
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show youâ€
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