Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
i was sitting on the kitchen floor shaking my gallon of vodka at people and asking if they wanted to climb the heaven hill... getting dumped is the best thing that has ever happend to me
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
Randomize
