Please stop sending me picture messages of your shit. Seriously. I don't care if it looks like popcorn chicken.
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
I'm walking down the street with a Starbucks in one hand and a flask in the other. People seem to have a staring problem
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
My dad just asked if I could bring snacks to jail this weekend. Like what does he think this is, some type of adult play date?
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
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