dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
Is a wave an appropriate goodbye when your one night stand wakes up and walks out towards the door while you are looking through the garbage for the evidence of a condom?
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
Get the fuck back here. Your brother taped bottle rockets to the front of his scooter and is bombing around screaming, "Rest in peace, Goose!"
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
If I don't quit picking up guys when I'm drunk, I'm going to need a vagina transplant.
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
Randomize
