Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
He came in looking for condoms, iced coffee, and a gas tank. I need to be where he's going.
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
I'm sorry, our booty call lines closed at 2 am. If you are receiving this message it is our off hours. Please try again between the hours of 12pm and 2 am to reschedule your booty call. Thank you for your cooperation.
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
Randomize