I can only masturbate in one position. It's very inconvenient.
Mom found my vibrator. all the said was 'wow, I've never seen one like this before.'
we don't live in the stone age anymore, mom
So I just found out that my mom and dad arent married
What? They have three kids?
Yep. And apparently I have a half brother. Happy Birthday to me
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
Randomize