I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
So now your dad has seen my tits. You could have told me he was coming by to help paint.
I didn't think you'd be painting the kitchen topless.
I couldn't find a shirt I was willing to ruin.
Randomize
