If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop.
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
I bet the guy on the treadmill next to me with the noise-canceling headphones wishes he could trade them for smell-canceling noseplugs. Hard to believe that last one did not involve any pants-shitting on my part.
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
Hypothetically speaking...if I was arrested in Wisconsin, say Kenosha county, would you post my bail all the way from Oregon? If yes, will you also accept my collect call in t-minus 13 hours?
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
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