Moving to Utah. Got sick of alcohol and have a severe wife shortage.
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
I woke up this morning to find myself laying in a beer puddle with "I'm sorry" written on the shaft of my dick and Nicole was nowhere to be found. Gotta love her
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
Randomize